I am making a renewed effort to blog more. I need an outlet and the interweb wins as my release mechanism. I think I last posted about 5 months ago so what has changed? Well, I did not go back to work fulltime after my maternity leave was over. Currently I am a fulltime stay at home Mom and part time contract/freelance worker. Very freelance and very contract-ty i.e. not really brining in any bacon but I cook up what Baby Daddy brings in. It is very scary, relying on one income. And surprise, surprise, as many of you know, it can be very frustrating to be a fulltime Mom, especially now that Noah is at home for the summer before stating JK in September. I cannot see myself going back into the corporate world right now though. I would prefer not to deal with the stress and lack of compassion. I remember crying and not being able to sleep when I went back to work after having Noah. It got worse when I got pregnant with Julia. But, my experience is unique to me, I just was not happy in that situation. I am happy being at home right now and I do not exactly feel like the grass is greener on the other side but there are some days I would love a lunch break or a bathroom break or just a few minutes of sanity.
I also made a resolution to be more selfish this year. I realised that I have a need to be like and I always want to please others but this year I am focusing more on my family and me, really. It’s hard, I still want to go out of my way to do things and be liked but I am working on letting that go. I am very sensitive, sometimes overly so and I still get offended or feel slighted when someone does not include me or my family. The problem is mine though, I need to just let things go and realise that the value I place on someone may not be reciprocated. C’est la vie!
What else have I been working on? As part of my Be Selfish Campaign, I have started to get more serious about my health. I started doing CrossFit as well as a running program and try to attend yoga at least once a week. I officially enrolled in CrossFit in May and stated the running program 5 weeks ago. CrossFit is hard but I am keeping at it. The best feeling is right after the workout is over, I am usually bone tired and out of breath but I love knowing that the torture is over. About 5 minutes after that, I have an energy spike and get really happy. My body is usually exhausted but my mind is usually racing. Running is another story. I have never been a runner. I tried and failed twice to be a runner but I am still at it so far. I am so slow. I think most people can walk faster than I run but I see improvements. I am up to running for 30-36 minutes with 8 minute running sections, alternating with walking. Really more like 16 minutes of running total by the time you factor in 5 minutes of walking to warm up and cool down plus the walking break in between the runs. I think I hurt more after running than CrossFit. I feel my age after every run (light jog).
The biggest challenge for me with the whole get healthy project is eating. I try to eat healthy but if I do not plan, I make bad decisions. I am trying to do mostly Paleo cooking/eating but there are times when I do indulge, maybe a little too much. My next challenge is to be stricter with my eating. I need to cut out crap and snack better.
I talked A LOT about myself this time. The kiddlets are great. Surprising me and making me so happy every day. I cannot believe my baby boy is 4 and my baby girls is 1 ½. I want to freeze time this summer so we can savour every bit of sunshine. But like Noah said today, winter is fun to because we can make snowmen. Love his optimism!
Ok, I have rambled on enough. I am going to endeavour to write more. I need it!